when you tag daddy long legs as #spiders to be courteous to those with arachnophobia and some dumbass fucking shit-head has to come along and remind you that they “arent actually spiders” because lord fuckin’ knows that isn’t a well known fact by now buT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL STILL BE AFRAID OF THEM FOR THE SAME REASON THEY ARE AFRAID OF SPIDERS DUE TO THEIR VERY SIMILAR APPEARANCE YOU STUPID DUNDERFUCKS.
So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.
Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.
that was the best safe-sex talk ever.
Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom “broke”…
HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THAT A PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don’t believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn’t even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people.
There For Tomorrow - A little Faster
We all know what happens when we assume.
some of my personals I got to say to people:
- Yes I’m of German descent. No, I’m not a nazi-thingy.
- Yes, I’m also Creole. No I don’t go barefoot on the muddy road to collect cotton.
- Yes, my skin is dark. No I don’t like fried chicken. I don’t like meat actually. I like to cook crumbles and onion pies like no one. Get over it, bitches.
- Yes, I’m living in a ghetto. No, I certainly do not do drugs.
- Yes, I’m a sex addict. No, it has nothing to do with my sexuality, it’s just a mental disorder, honey.